Tales from the Guardshack
The Unusual Life of a Campus Security Guard
Jeremy Dillard
Issue date: 5/3/04 Section: Humor
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The job of a college security guard is to serve and protect. He is to be a responsible, alert, courageous, and hard-working individual. He is always aware of the events taking place around. Nothing catches him off guard. Well...ok...maybe some things catch him off guard...especially late at night...or when all the students are gone for a break.
Security guards can spend hours telling funny stories of strange experiences that they have had on duty. These stories can be quite scary or just plain funny. Here are just a few of them.
I was on duty with Atul Gotapalan. We were working the 3-7 shift on Friday afternoon. Nothing too exciting was happening when we spotted a disheveled man sauntering down the road towards the guardshack. In one hand he had a paper cup, in the other an empty water bottle. I walked out to see what was going on when the man began walking around behind the library. As I approached, I saw to my shock that the man was using his paper cup to drink water out of the rain puddles in the parking lot! I asked if I could help the man out, but as soon as I opened my mouth he jumped up and bolted down the road where he had come from. - Jeremy Dillard
One day I was working and Mr. Dennis stopped at the guardshack after driving on campus. He told me that there were some homeless people in the bushes close to Gulf to Bay and that I should probably go tell them to leave. I went to investigate and it turned out to be Laurence and Missy coming back from a jog. I still don't know what Mr. Dennis was thinking. - Mike Fichter
A woman drove on campus at 4 in the morning. She had a dog in the front seat of her car and a ton of flowers in the back. I went out to ask what she wanted. She told me that she was coming on campus to walk her dog at Cooper's Point. Why she was walking her dog at Cooper's Point at 4 in the morning I do not know. She gave us each a flower that smelled like smoke when she left. - Mike Morgan
Security guards can spend hours telling funny stories of strange experiences that they have had on duty. These stories can be quite scary or just plain funny. Here are just a few of them.
I was on duty with Atul Gotapalan. We were working the 3-7 shift on Friday afternoon. Nothing too exciting was happening when we spotted a disheveled man sauntering down the road towards the guardshack. In one hand he had a paper cup, in the other an empty water bottle. I walked out to see what was going on when the man began walking around behind the library. As I approached, I saw to my shock that the man was using his paper cup to drink water out of the rain puddles in the parking lot! I asked if I could help the man out, but as soon as I opened my mouth he jumped up and bolted down the road where he had come from. - Jeremy Dillard
One day I was working and Mr. Dennis stopped at the guardshack after driving on campus. He told me that there were some homeless people in the bushes close to Gulf to Bay and that I should probably go tell them to leave. I went to investigate and it turned out to be Laurence and Missy coming back from a jog. I still don't know what Mr. Dennis was thinking. - Mike Fichter
A woman drove on campus at 4 in the morning. She had a dog in the front seat of her car and a ton of flowers in the back. I went out to ask what she wanted. She told me that she was coming on campus to walk her dog at Cooper's Point. Why she was walking her dog at Cooper's Point at 4 in the morning I do not know. She gave us each a flower that smelled like smoke when she left. - Mike Morgan